So it's been a few weeks since my last post so I though I would try my hand at posting another one tonight. The last two weeks have been incredibly emotional for me. I have to admit I have been all over the place, but with God's help, things seem to finally be feeling better. I find it necessary to give a little background information tonight. I'm hoping that for some of you it will provide a little insight into a place where I find myself drifting to sometimes.

When I was six months old, my mother decided that she couldn't take care of me and my father as well wasn't in a place either to raise me on his own. I went to live with my grandparents on my dad's side, my meme and papa. As a child this didn't phase me as much, but as I got older I started having a lot of questions. I have never really gotten real answers to those questions, but alas here we are and as of today I am a 37 year old woman trying to cope with extreme abandonment issues and an overwhelmingly at times over emotional psyche. Through therapy, writing in a journal, support from my husband and close friends, and God, I have become better at managing those feelings and emotions. But sometimes, these demons of mine rear their ugly heads and it really takes some time before I feel 100 % whole again.  I begin to question myself, my relationships with friends and family and God. I wonder sometimes why God made me this way, but when I turn to him I understand that their are positives to help out way the negatives. I also have to give credit to my husband who supports me unconditionally on a daily basis in all that I do. Through both of them I realized that I'm a good friend. I'm a loyal friend and I care about my friends deeply. In fact, for those of you that know me well, you will know that my friends are my family. Not to say that I don't love my family. I do love them, but most of them haven't been able to be there for me and support me the way that I needed growing up and in my adult life. A couple of people have accused me of leaning on my friends too much at times and though I can agree that at times I have done that to an extreme, but for the most part it's because I don't have a good family support system so they are who I look to when I'm in need. And I really don't think there is anything wrong with that. Some of you may agree,some of you many not, but this is me.

So as I sign off here tonight, I'm looking forward to future and know that with God all things are possibly. He is always with me, He will always love me and he will always be there for me.

Good Evening!!!

Sunday night, June 24, 2012..What a weekend it has been. It's been a great weekend, but tomorrow it's back to reality. Back to work and the daily grind. A few weeks ago I mentioned that I was going to begin blogging again, but for some reason I haven't really had anything to share until now. I would just like to share that going back to church after years of not going, has completely changed my life. I look forward to getting up each Sunday morning to worship the Lord, hear my pastor's message and have fellowship with an amazing congregation. For those of you who don't know me, I'm a very emotional person. I also have high anxiety and have had some minor issues dealing with all that over the years, but after giving myself to God and knowing that through him all things are possible, I have really been able to "lighten up" so to speak. I have met some amazing women through a women's community group I joined a few months ago and I have to say they are truly amazing. My relationships with my friends, a select group of individuals in my family, my husband and God are stronger and better than ever. Many of you may say this blog is similar to the one I wrote a few weeks ago and it is somewhat because I used a different blog format then. This is my way of starting again, starting anew...Life is Good...